Another Year…

Today is my birthday.  Not in the traditional sense of “coming into this world,” but the sense of a new chance.  Maybe I should call it my “rebirthday” or something more clever.

I’m eleven-years-old today.  Commence the jokes about how I act like an eleven-year-old sometime.  This day always sneaks up on me for some reason.  It usually occurs to me that January 6 has arrived almost after the fact.  Believe it or not, there are a series of symptoms that lead up to the day.  Mostly disguised by the holidays, I start to feel sad, scared14682134_10154604681438664_3160704524825106133_o, lonely, late November or early December.  The presence of friends and family helps with those feelings.  But after the New Year, I really struggle.

Back to school, getting back into the routine sometimes helps for a a day or two, but it always seems to happen.  This year is no exception.  It’s a combination of the time of the year, the lack of sunshine, and the fact that eleven-years ago today I entered the operating room at Avera with six months to live, and woke up almost eight hours later in the most crippling pain I’ve ever felt, but with a second chance.

I still struggle this time of the year.  I’m emotional.  I’m scared.  And at times, I feel very alone.  But I’m here.

Here’s  to surviving.  Here’s to living life one year at a time.   Here’s to…another year.

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~ by archangel66 on January 6, 2017.

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